A Brief Book Summary from Books At a Glance
by Steve West
About the Author
Sam Allberry is an international teacher and author. He serves as a church leader and pastor, and has helped many people in the global church think through issues of gender and sexuality.
Table of Contents
Introduction
1 Why Do We Care Who We Sleep With?
2 What is a Little Girl Worth?
3 What is Sex For?
4 Is Sex Really Just for Marriage?
5 Why Was This So Controversial Back Then?
6 Why Is This So Controversial Now?
7 What if I’ve Really Messed Up?
8 Don’t We Need to be Sexually Fulfilled to be Who We Are?
9 Isn’t Love Enough?
10 Why Does This Matter to God? The Bigger Story
11 Why Does This Matter to God? The Better Story
Summary
Chapter 1: Why Do We Care Who We Sleep With?
When the hashtag #MeToo went viral, it was used 19 million times in less than one year. This movement brought to light the prevalence of sexual assault and harassment and has helped bring about a reevaluation of attitudes towards sex and sexual conduct. The #MeToo movement reveals that our sexuality and sexual experiences are tied to our deepest psychological and emotional selves. Tragically, the church has not been immune to the scandal of sexual abuse. Jesus taught us to care for the marginalized and hurting, and he himself was the victim of unspeakable abuse. One of Jesus’s most famous and revolutionary teachings about sex moved from forbidding physical adultery to condemning lustful thoughts. According to Jesus, adultery can take place in the mind even if it never occurs in the bed. An incredible implication of this is that Jesus is honoring and protecting the precious sexuality of every woman even if she is never touched; no woman is to be secretly objectified in the mind. Our sexuality matters to God, and we are to guard and honor one another. When David repented of his adultery with Bathsheba he wrote that he had sinned against God. What he came to realize was that Bathsheba’s sexuality was a gift from God and belonged to the Lord, and when he violated her sexual integrity he wronged her, and in doing so sinned against God. Every sexual assault violates sacred space created by God.
Chapter 2: What is a Little Girl Worth?
In the trial of Larry Nassar, the former USA gymnastics coach, Rachel Denhollander asked the judge to hand down a verdict that showed what a little girl was worth. Jesus’s teaching shows that the value of a little girl is priceless. Far from devaluing sexuality and our bodies, Christianity places a very high value on them. We treat an old, beat-up vehicle differently than an expensive new one: taking care of something shows that we value it. Although some Christians throughout history and today have had negative views of sex, the Bible is very positive about it in the right context. It is precisely because it is so important that the Bible celebrates it in proper context, but it warns against its abuse and forbids it in the wrong context. Everyone has some kind of boundary for sexual expression. The #MeToo movement has shown that consent needs to be given, but even verbal consent may be inadequate if there is an imbalance of power in the relationship. Sexual relations with children are also assumed by many to be obviously wrong, but this view is not shared by everyone. The truth is that everyone has some restriction they want to put on sexual relationships: the real question revolves around what those restrictions ought to be. Our concern with boundaries shows that sexuality actually matters deeply. Although we are mammals, we are often told not to act like animals because what is significant to us differs from what we find in the animal kingdom. People know by experience that sex is far more than physical. There really can be no debate that sex matters to us. In the final analysis, there is no such thing as casual sex. . . .
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